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Humor Column

By Barbara McLay, University of South Florida

Sometimes You Have to Laugh

The first class I took when I began work on my master's degree was statistics. I wanted to get the worst out of the way first. I figured if I couldn't get through the hardest class, I would give up the whole idea of a master's degree early on. Even though I tried to read the textbook before lectures, I could not understand half of what the professor thought he was teaching us. To begin the second class, he talked about critical t's and obtained t's, put some confusing numbers and symbols on the board and asked us should we reject or accept the null hypothesis. I was starting to think I must be the class idiot, when a voice from the back of the room let me know I was not alone in my confusion: "Do you want us to guess?" she asked.

The students in my eighth grade remedial reading class were reading and discussing a story about a family who were trying to survive in a lifeboat after their sailboat had sunk in the Pacific. The main problem the survivors faced was lack of drinking water.
"Wait-a-minute," Randy piped up. “Ain't those people sitting in water? Why don't they just put their stupid heads over the side and get a drink?"
"Don't be an idiot, Randy!" John interjected. "They're in the ocean. You can't drink water out of the ocean."
"You're right, John," I praised. "Even though they are surrounded by water, they can't drink it. Can you explain to Randy why not?"
"It's full of fish pee," John proudly informed us.

One prompt on my students’ final paper asked them if they purchased the recommended writing handbook, and if not, why not. Here are three students’ reasons for not purchasing it:

My heart told me to purchase it, but it was my wallet, my wallet cried for mercy.

I all ready took Comp I and Comp 2 and I made a A and B so I no how to write so I did not think the handbook would be helpful and a waste of money.

I could not get to the bookstore because I ordered all my books on line and this book was the same price on line as at the bookstore so I didn’t buy it.

Not Yet Perfectly Fluent

Excerpts from Students’ Papers

In Christopher’s neighborhood a dog is murdered and he is found at the crime scene and is then blamed for the murder.

They believe in profits such as Abraham, Isaac, and Ishmael.

Closure is important for murder victims. Victims want to move on from the crime and live the rest of their lives and not relieve the nightmare they went through.

I believe this has been handled in the wrong manor.

Questions or comments? Contact the author at bmclay@cchd.usf.edu.

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